I recently heard the following piped into a supermarket (no audio link because the song is really pretty terrible):

Cause she's so hiiiiiii-eeee-iiiigh,
High above me,
She's so lovely.
She's so hiiiiiii-eeee-iiiigh,
Like Cleopatra,
Joan of Arc or Aphrodite.

And I thought, you know dude, I think you may be onto something. Joan of Arc probably wouldn't give you the time of day.

Three cute things to use as decoration

1. Birds.


2. Butterflies.


3. Asian women.


(Source: Elmwood Stationers.)

Helpful tips from my cell phone user's manual

Do not attempt to operate your phone charger if it has received a sharp blow, been dropped, thrown from a speeding motorcycle or is otherwise damaged; doing so may damage your phone.

Emphasis added.

Composition students are invited to rectify the faulty parallelism.

T-Mobile. Getting Started. TM1524 GH68-18756A. p. 27.
(The MLA guidelines for citing a cell phone user's manual are frankly insufficient.)